Editor's Note: For those that don't know the author - Kevin Williams, he is famous for his long and insightful Facebook posts, that draw from a wealth of personal experience, reflection, and reading. His insights aren’t just thoughtful—they’re the result of years of study and real-world engagement. Take your time with this one; it’s worth it.
God is So Cool
A couple of gals were rebuking me in the comments for calling a girl "Babygirl." (You can take me outta the South, but you can't take the South out of me.) I was wondering if they were right—if I was out of line calling girls "Babygirl." Then I went to my account at Baby Center, and there was a girl who sent me a message saying she was choosing life. Do you know what her screen name was? Babygirl! Hahahaha.
7 Years Ago Today
Please pray for this girl to take my message about God's love and mercy to heart. Broken hearts are fertile fields for gospel seeds to grow.
Yesterday, I terminated a pregnancy at 9 weeks, 5 days. It was an aspiration abortion with no anesthesia, just lidocaine shots to the cervix. I felt so much physical pain (and I had three non-medicated births prior). I have three young children. I could not have seen a fourth child working. Financially, it would have been difficult; I would have been put behind in my midwifery program... there would have been endless complications. I was terrified to go through with it. I cried every day the week leading up. I was inconsolable during the appointment. I looked at the ultrasound, and all I could say was, ‘Sorry’ to this little innocent being I would not give a chance to grow.
I am pro-choice and always have been. But I made the wrong choice for myself. It was probably best for my family, but I discounted HUGE mental warning signs in myself. I can’t stop crying. I have been obsessively thinking about suicide (with so much grief that I could even consider leaving my family to make the pain stop). I continuously think that this little baby was happy growing inside me, and I heard it get thrown away into a biohazard bin. I couldn’t say goodbye. I just kept crying out that I was so sorry. I feel I failed as a mother. I hope I can start to get over it, but I cannot imagine I will ever be the same.
I wish one of the nurses had more seriously screened my feelings. I am terrified to sleep. The nightmares started way before the procedure. I am empty. And I cannot take anything back. I am sure this post won’t help anyone, but I sure wish I had found this forum before my appointment yesterday. Perhaps I could have made a better choice that I could live with.
My Response
From: Me To: J_______ Subject: This is What Brought Me Back When I Despaired Date: 2/1/18 07:01 PM
Sweetheart, your post about your pain, heartache, and regret so touched my heart. I sense you are a truly amazing and loving person, and you have a very, very beautiful heart. You don’t have to carry that weight of guilt. Here is what brought me back when I despaired:
"No human sin can erase the mercy of God or prevent Him from unleashing all His triumphant power if we only call upon Him."
"God’s mercy is His might."—Saint John Paul II
There are beautiful and profound principles in Carmen Pate’s devotional that I hope help you as they did me.
Carmen Pate's Devotional
Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sin is covered. Blessed is the one to whom the Lord shall not impute sin.—Romans 4:7-8
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. If you are struggling to move forward, know that God's mercy is greater than your past.
The Weight of Guilt and the Enemy’s Deception
The Apostle Paul, making a powerful point about justification by faith, refers back to David’s words in Psalm 32:1-2. Despite the enormity of David’s sins—his adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband—he came to understand something crucial: God’s righteousness is imputed, not earned. David’s response was not to wallow in guilt, but to praise God for the freedom from sin that comes through repentance. This is what we must learn to do.
Yet, after abortion, the enemy works relentlessly to keep women bound in either of two lies:
Shame and self-loathing: He whispers that you are unworthy of forgiveness and that you must numb your pain through destructive behaviors—drugs, alcohol, promiscuity—believing that God could never accept someone who has taken the life of her own child.
A casual dismissal of sin: He convinces women that “It’s no big deal. God is forgiving. A simple prayer will cover it… until next time.”
Satan doesn’t care which lie you believe—only that you stay trapped in deception. But God’s truth sets us free.
Stop Punishing Yourself—Christ Already Paid the Price
As a post-abortive woman, I once believed the enemy’s lies. I thought that hating myself after receiving God’s forgiveness was somehow justified. But then I realized something that changed everything:
Rejecting God’s mercy is an insult to Him.
By refusing to accept His grace, I was saying that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was not enough to cover my sin. I was denying God the opportunity to bring healing into my life, and I was allowing Satan to silence my testimony.
But once I embraced God’s forgiveness, everything changed. My heart overflowed with gratitude instead of guilt. Now, I choose to sing of His grace rather than give the enemy a foothold in my life.
If you are struggling, don’t waste God’s mercy! Accept His forgiveness, and forgive yourself as a testimony of His amazing grace.
A Powerful Testimony of Healing: Ashley Sigrest’s Story
I had the privilege of producing a documentary that featured the story of Ashley Sigrest, a post-abortive woman whose testimony is truly life-changing.
Ashley appears as the fourth woman in the film and closes the documentary with a beautiful and powerful plea about God’s mercy, forgiveness, and healing. Her words have touched countless hearts, helping women who felt unworthy of God’s love open their eyes to His healing.
Ashley’s realization was this:
“Now, when I help other women heal after their abortions, it honors my son. Now, when I fight for other children not to be aborted, he did not die in vain.”
When I’ve shared Ashley’s words with other post-abortive women, I’ve seen a light in their eyes and a change in their expression as they say, “I WILL accept God's forgiveness and healing, and by doing so, it will honor my child.”
A Dream of Healing: Letting Go of the Pain
I know another woman who had an abortion as a teenager. She wasn’t coerced—she simply believed a baby would interfere with her future. She was told it was just a blob of cells.
But after her abortion, she began having recurring nightmares of a baby crying. These nightmares continued for decades. She would wake up in tears, knowing that when she opened her eyes, the baby would not be there—because she had taken its life.
Then, she attended a healing retreat where she encountered God’s love and restoration. Shortly after, she had another dream—one that changed everything.
In her dream, a bright light shone into her bedroom from the hallway. Suddenly, a little girl ran out of the light. Laughing, she grabbed my friend’s shirt and said:
“It’s okay, Mommy. I’m with Jesus now. You can let me go. You are forgiven.”
She woke up in tears again—but this time, they were tears of joy. From that moment on, she never had the nightmare again.
A Prayer for Healing and Restoration
If you are struggling with guilt after abortion, let’s pray together:
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your amazing grace that saves us, no matter how broken we are. I stand against the enemy who seeks to keep me in shame and sorrow. Lord, protect Your children from falling prey to the accusations of the father of lies.
Turn our mourning into dancing. Help us to bring praise to You, giving testimony to Your healing and restoration in our lives.
For by Your grace, we are saved.
Amen.
God Wants to Restore You—Let Him
If you have had an abortion, God is not finished with your story. He can redeem what was lost and bring beauty from ashes.
Remember Joel’s words:
“I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten.” — Joel 2:25
God is ready to restore your heart, your hope, and your testimony. Don’t let guilt silence you—let grace set you free.
If you are seeking healing, I encourage you to watch Ashley Sigrest’s testimony. Visit conceivedinrape.com to learn more.
Know this: You are loved. You are forgiven. You are His.
Resources for Healing
A really good resource for post-abortion healing is Rachel’s Vineyard Weekend Retreats. They put them on all over the U.S. in practically every fairly large city. They have provided healing for countless women. https://www.rachelsvineyard.org/
If you would like to talk to someone, I would truly be blessed if I could help you. I was involved in this choice over 40 years ago. Plus, I have a number of friends who are post-abortive and would love to talk to you and see your heart on the path to healing.📧 papakevin11@gmail.com
I’m praying for you, Sweetheart.
God’s Mercy is Bigger Than Your Sin
Here is something that is very beautiful that was part of a sermon I heard recently. I was so moved by it that I sat down and wrote it out.
Before we go any further in discussing the extremely sensitive issue of abortion, I want to say a word to any woman who has had an abortion. God's mercy is bigger than your sin ...and your pain.
In 10 years of Priesthood, I've often been blessed to be the one who gets to welcome back a woman to the merciful embrace of the Father. To take her hand and put it back into the hand of God the Father after she has admitted to and repented of her abortion in the sacrament of confession.
A priest in such a situation has the privilege of assuring the woman that she has never for a single moment lost the love of God the Father, nor her dignity as a beloved daughter of that same God no matter WHAT she did.
And so, I say to these women today, you don't have to hide from God one moment longer. I know it is exhausting to pretend your pain is not real. That your loss is not immense, and that your choice wasn't devastating either. But when you experience God's love…When you experience God’s mercy, even after an abortion you will really come to know and experience that God's love in forgiving our most serious sin is even greater than His love in creating us.
Your Father has been waiting for you for a very long time Mother, and it's time to come home.
Babygirl, I have sent similar messages to many, many girls after their abortions on this site. Most responses are along the lines of, “I was crying when I read this over and over…” or “You will never know how much these words saved me today…”
There have been times when, a year or so later, the same girl would return, scheduling another abortion. It made me realize that the enemy of our souls, after abortion, will do one of two things—both of which you need to recognize and guard against.
Satan will often move in for the kill, targeting the soul of a post-abortive mother. He will heap shame, guilt, and self-loathing upon her mind until she feels she has no choice but to numb the pain with self-destructive behaviors—drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, or anything else that convinces her that God could never forgive or accept someone who took the life of her own child. He wants her to be deceived and tormented until her dying day.
Or, he will whisper the lie that “It’s no big deal. God is so forgiving that a simple prayer will cover it… until next time.” Satan doesn’t care which tactic he uses, as long as it keeps the mother trapped in deception and leads to the loss of her soul.
Babygirl, PLEASE accept God’s forgiveness. But from time to time, gaze at a crucifix—see Him hanging there—and reflect on the price He paid to forgive this sin. THAT is how much God loves you. THAT is how much He wants you to be His own. In Christ’s Mercy and Love,
Kevin
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